David Pilkington 25.04.30 - 10.01.21 CAPS FOR PHOTO SLIDES
 
The great thing about writing a eulogy is that you get to hear all the wonderful memories.
The drawback is that there are so many good ones you can’t possibly include them all!
So I’ll try to give an overview of David’s life, with some reflections on the kind of person he was.
 
David Pilkington, D P, David, Daddy, Uncle David, or Grandpa depending on the context you know him, was born on the 25th of April 1930, the only child of Geoffrey and Mary Pilkington
 
His father Geoffrey was an industrial chemist working on textiles. His mother Mary had been to secretarial school. He was born into a world that was very different from now.
 
EARLY DAYS
David described how as a child his mother would send him out each day with a jug to meet the horse drawn milk float. The milkman would carefully measure out the required number of pints, which he would carry home to his mother to be put somewhere cool. In the long summer holiday from school everyone would be out in the fields helping to bring in the harvest.  
 
During World War II aged 9 he was evacuated to America. He stayed with his grown up cousin Lindo and his wife Betty for four years. They were both research scientists, and  David became the son they never had. They subsequently visited David and his family as they grew up. David remembered being told ‘you can never know too much maths‘ which he often told us later!. It was a happy time. When he got home from school there was always plenty of food in the fridge for a snack, then he was off to the beach, or to the barn to eat pound cake with friends, including Bucky Scott who he subsequently kept in touch with. When he returned to England aged 14 he was already 6 foot tall, eventually reaching 6 foot 4 and three quarters, - very tall for someone of his generation. I think it was all the good food!
 
On his return, life in Britain just before the end of the war must have very different. His parents, keen that he received the best education possible arranged for him to start at Marlborough College boarding school. 
 
He was later to observe that having spent a long time away from home in America and then going to boarding school, that he felt he didn’t really know his parents as people very well as he was growing up. He finished at Malborough with his school certificate and a place to go to Cambridge.
 
ARMY
But before he could go to university he had to do two years national service, serving in Germany and later in the territorial army, rising to the rank of Captain
 
UNIVERSITY
He started at Cambridge University aged 20 to study natural sciences. In freshers week a friend from Malborough, Mike Tisdall, invited him to the Christian union. There was one particular service where the preacher was speaking about Revelation 3:20, In which Jesus is speaking and saying, Behold! I stand at the door knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me. Whilst David had always attended church, he realized that he had never invited Jesus into his life. He suddenly understood that he could have a personal relationship with him. This proved to be life changing. David’s Christian faith informed every aspect of his life from then on, his values, professional conduct, his choice of wife, and use of finances. He believed that this faith was worth sharing.
 
At Cambridge he met Michael Griffiths, who persuaded David to help on a children’s beach mission in Wales. There he met three siblings Valerie, Rupert and Judith Kipping. 
 
Mike married Valerie in 1956 in a small but packed church. Judith was bridesmaid and David  fell in love with the her! Then 19 Judith was studying music at Manchester University, this was convenient as by now David had graduated and was working in the civil service for the Inland Revenue. and found  himself visiting Manchester every fortnight as part of his commitments to the territorial Army, So he would meet Judith and take her out for tea. Judith a force to be reckoned with, later moved to her first teaching in job the other side of the country in Wisbeach, East Anglia! 
 
David, quietly persistent and determined continued to court Judith, travelling the width of the country, sleeping in his car overnight, from West wales to East Anglia on alternate weekends. 
 
MARRIED
They were married in 1962. David then 32, was good for Judith, his calmness balanced her unstoppableness. They were truly happy together. ‘Rupert described them as ‘one of the most successful marriages I know,’
My memory is of having a mother who was bubbly, energetic and outgoing; and a quiet, father, a man of few words.. Always gentle, reliable and dependable in the background, faithfully getting on with the support tasks and paperwork needed to make things happen.
 
In their early marriage they moved frequently with David’s job. I was born two years later when they were living in Orpington. At that point David was commuting into London daily to work on the first computerization of the PAYE system which he enjoyed, Later he was promoted to Senior, then district tax inspector. He had a reputation for taking an interest in his staff, and making good suggestions for improving the running of the tax system, that were frequently taken up by head office. Clare and Tim were born in Orpington, they moved to Sittingbourne where Susannah was born, and From there 2 years later to  Broadstairs.in 1972 when David was 42.
 
FAMILY
My memories of him as a father were of walking next to a giant, reaching up above my head to hold onto his finger. As children we knew that he and mummy read the Bible together and prayed for us daily, praying again at night and thanking God for his goodness that day. We did family prayers, said grace at mealtimes  and our parents always read us a bible story as well as other stories, and prayed with us at night. 
HOILDAYS IN TEIGNMOUTH FLAT A
Apparently even when we were children Daddy regularly prayed for our future spouses as well! Sundays were special, He and Mummy always made time for a fun family activity in the afternoon, known as ‘Sunday treats’
 
We moved to Cambridge in 1978, David then 48. He cycled to and from the office daily.  They joined St Matthews Church and were active in small groups and Sunday school, making special and lifelong friends, many of whom we know are logging in today. Together he and Judith had always been generous and hospitable, often hosting the church young peoples group. or inviting  friends, and sometimes newly met strangers from church to Sunday lunch. As teenagers we frequently had friends to stay over, We later learned that some of these friends saw our home as a place of stability at times when their own home circumstances were challenging. ‘
 
HOBBIES
David had a brain for detail and problems solving, enjoying puzzles, woodwork , DIY, gardening, waking & maps.. He was interested in all kinds of facts, reading the Whitakers Almanack for fun, ( Which was completely lost on me ) but consequently was always a good source of reliable information From politics, to public transport, to how to fix a tap, hang wall paper, or a wire plug.  If you needed help with Maths, Science or history home work he was your man. He was a patient and methodical teacher, prepared to invest the time, teaching by helping you to do it whilst explaining why you did it that way. He wanted us to be prepared for life as adults. In our teens he gave us all the same birthday presents, a hammer drill, spanner set, tool grab and a black and decker work mate! He’d already taught us to use them! 
 
As well as teaching us practically he also taught by example He believed that everything he had was a gift from God, including his money, so it was God’s money to be used wisely and unselfishly. He gave us weekly pocket money, some to spend, some to save and some to give away.  If he made a commitment to something he cared about he quietly and faithfully followed it through. Mike and Valerie had gone overseas to do missionary work. When their children came back from overseas to UK boarding schools, he wrote to them weekly and visited. He also kept in touch with to his godson Paul Bancroft throughout his life.
 
As teenager I probably didn’t appreciate my parents in the way they deserved. They were  embarrassing, Mummy was loud, and Daddy seemed quiet and retiring, with a terrible sense of humor – always ready with a bad dad joke, or a good pun, depending on your point of view!  In my eyes he wasn’t one of those cool out going parents who were up at the front of life, with big entertaining personalities, But as a got older I came to appreciate that instead of being a big personality, he was more of a big person, not only in terms of the foundational role he had in our lives, but also a big person in terms of who he was, his generosity, integrity and selflessness.
 
THE BARN
He had an opportunity to take early retirement aged 56 due to a civil service reorganisation. He and Judith started working with the Barn International. A church based welcome Centre for overseas students coming to Cambridge to study in the UK. There the team provided a chance to meet people and socialise, with a Bible study running downstairs it in the second half of the evening for those who wanted to join it. They made many precious and long lasting friendships, with the barn team, and the students attending, often inviting them to their home for meals, and Some team members living there. David had always been socially retiring, now he learned to chat! And his outgoingness grew. Whilst Mike and Valerie had gone to the mission field abroad, David commented that he was relatively unadventurous with travel and was delighted that he could meet people from all around the world in his home city! However 12 years after starting at the Barn they did do a round the world tour, to be reunited with friends at every stop. An example of how their humble and gentle hospitality had made a great impression on the people, now friends, who had come into contact with them. These friends had also had an impact on them, and opened up new horizons for them. 
 
Later he became a trustee of Friends international student fellowship as treasurer and subsequently chair. He and Judith also had a vision for a Christian language school in Cambridge which they helped to set up.
 
GRANDCHILDREN
Tim, and later Jo and Clare married and grandchildren arrived. Ella and Jamie , living Cambridge visited them in the old family home frequently after school. Now that we hear their memories of Grandps, they were clearly allowed to get away with all sorts of things that we were never allowed to! David and Judith joined Tim and Gail, for holidays along with Gail’s parents Noel and Betty who also became firm friends
For us in Winchester Mummy and Daddy were like the Cavalry arriving to help with Rachel, Sam, Jeff and Eleanor. Sam remembers sitting on grandpa’s lap. ‘Grandpa does it hurt having a beard?’  to which he received a typically wry response, ‘only if little boys pull it!’ They also made visits to Timothy Bekaleigh and Hannah in Nottingham, and once David moved here they made visits to him, which he absolutely loved. There was always a cupboard full of goodies ready for their visits!
 
He had a longstanding interest in family history, particularly in finding out more about the lives of the people in the family tree, also researching braches of the wider family. Glynn and Cara named their son Campbell as a result of his research.
 
He enjoyed trains. A family trip for an evening meal on a steam train on the watercress line for Mummy’s 60 th stands out. Between courses at one of the stops David and Rich, my husband, (also a train enthusiast) headed up the platform to look at the locomotive, which as ever, he was a fount of knowledge about. Stephen remembers that when the driver invited David up into the cab he was like an excited school boy !
 
Judith developed cancer and died in 2008. She remained energetic and outgoing to the very end. Her concern was that David as the quiet one might become isolated once she had gone. David, eight years her senior had never expected to be a widower. Rather, in his characteristically  methodical way had made careful arrangements to ensure that she would be well provided for after him. David missed her terribly. But that summer the church were running a children’s club, not immediately his thing we thought, by then very deaf, aged 78, but they needed someone to put the details of the children on a computer. He knew he could help, so again, he ‘got on with it’ and volunteered. 
 
He continued to provide a home to overseas student workers. He was also involved in the hearing-impaired society, wrote a book about the War Memorial in Saint Matthews Church, pursued his interest in family history, and continued to join the wider family for summer holidays in Cornwall at the Polzeath beach mission, faithfully attending the Bible studies. There he became known as ‘Grandpa’ by many outside the family too!
 
TEN FINGERS PICTURE 
Susannah married Nick a widower. David was delighted to walk her down the aisle and make the father of the bride speech at her wedding, welcoming Nick and his lovely daughter Phoebe to the family. He proudly held up both hands fingers stretched I now have 10 grandchildren! Both hands full. It was an iconic moment.
 
HILTON GRANGE
At just the right time, a flat become available in Hilton Grange. He moved to Nottingham in 2016. Aged 86. Initially he missed the overseas students and friends in Cambridge, but very much appreciated the welcome he got at Hilton Grange and at St Luke’s, making many friends here.  He was actively involved with a small group at St Lukes. And at Hilton Grange he joined  the coffee mornings, Bible study and monthly services. 
 
In 2018 he was seriously ill, landing in hospital and later Hayward house hospice. He knew his survival was uncertain.  However eventually returned to Hilton Grange with additional care. His persistent determination meant that he regained some of his walking stamina, and enjoyed being part of the friendly community at Hilton Grange. 
 
He even organised a train holiday that he could do with a wheelchair, inviting family members to join him. Rich was first in the line, joined by Tim and Susannah, they had a whale of a time!
 
He felt it was a real achievement to reach his 90th birthday at the start of the first lockdown. Hilton Grange residents sang happy birthday to him from the car park while he was on his balcony!
 
Reflecting on his 90 years he felt that God had organised the timing of events in his life perfectly so that things had worked out well. He often spoke of Gods goodness and faithfulness to him. Particularly in that he had come to live in such a lovely flat at Hilton Grange. 
 
My reflection is that he was a quiet humble unassuming man, with his faith in Jesus at the centre of who he was. And then he just ‘got on with life’, And by the end of it, God was able to impact powerfully and positively on many people. Having read and listened to peoples stories, it is clear that he impacted far more people than I had ever realized, and possibly more than he realized.
 
Like so many he found the isolation of lockdown hard, missing bumping into people when he went out for his daily walks. So it was good to be able to bubble with the Allen family. He had been diagnosed with cancer 15 or so years earlier, it was now advanced. In the last few months he became increasingly frail. He commented “I’ll  thank the Lord for every day that he gives me, but I’m looking forward to meeting him.” We were thankful that His last illness was short, just four days. The carers at Hilton Grange were wonderful, helping us to look after him, and we all got to see him. He went peacefully to heaven. We were reading Romans eight,.. for I am convinced that neither death nor life,….neither the present nor the future….,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We thank God for our wonderful daddy, for all that he gave us, and for his life, that he lived out gently, humbly, and faithfully, which spoke volumes of the love and faithfulness of his God.